For almost 4 years, I have lived with you and there is still a whole lot i do not know about you..
But meanwhile I have also learned a lot about you, which you did not realise, which you thought you did not give away…. And it makes me feel sorry for you!
I do not know who was there before me, according to you, quite a lot, but I think that most of your “knowledge” came from reading it on the internet and most of your female friends who asked for your attention were a figment of your imagination, wishful thinking as it were!
You were my friend and you embraced me, every time I got hurt, which was a lot of times, so soon after the loss of my husband. It was a role you played brilliantly, because I became more and more depend on you! So when you finally left, onto your nexy victim, I almost could not let go, because I had given my independence away and had become fully depended on you.
Going even so far that I accepted any kind of contact with you, knowing there was another female running in the background, which I tried to ignore, because we had promised that if and when you fell in love with anyone else, one ought to tell.
But you did not, it suited you to sit, do lesser and lesser work and enjoy the food, time and money!
In your mind it was okay to look almost servile, just as long as this lazy process went on! Anything for a quiet life! Meanwhile your new female got fed up waiting and turned up, so you had to break the news, well not quite, I will never know what kind of a spin you gave her, but Gosh, you lied to me incredibly well!
You have been able to smear it out another 6 months, under the excuse that you had to accompany on my trip to my wintersun, which is quite ironic, because you cannot drive and you are certainly no navigator!
But now it is finally over, due some remarks made by a friend about mental torture and you starting to use the word “we” in a conversation about a later period.
And all of a sudden I realised that you need this attention, you need to be needed by others!
And then I realised I did not need you anymore, I can take of the “braces” off , I can walk, talk arrange, organise, deal with anything coming my way, eventhough you did everything in your power to keep me depended on you!
You have long outstayed your welcome, you should have left long ago, when I told you to, but you did not have anyone ready yet, so it took a hell of a lot longer, but at least I am free again!
You were a very expensive lesson, almost cost a fortune, but hey I survived and in the end that is what it is all about!
November 2nd, 2024