Desire is a funny thing, much like the song: Do you really want me, or do you really want to make me cry…..it is the one or nothing at all….
And when it is nothing you as a person should really run and get the hell out!!
At least that is my meaning in life, I need to be desired, not the whole day through but if there is no pleasure between you, you have to change things.
But they not only have to desire you and you them back, but at the same time, you both have to make it clear to the other, that you really do desire… and before you start, that is definitely not bound by age or the time you have been together.
That is more bound by the way you deal with your relationship…
Do you put enough effort in, because much like everything, in order to get as much out of it as you want, you will have to put in…
I am a lazy cow, I am very lucky that I hate joggings, because otherwise I would be living in them. Thank G*d I like bright colours and fitted clothes, but I have noticed within quite a few relationships that if HE does not tell me that I am desirable, in speech, noises and facial expression or whatever, I quite easily become a slobber, never looking in the mirror, barely putting cream on my face and never using make up!
I have one huge advantage, I realised this quite quick ly and got myself some permanent make up, so that way at least I look a bit reasonable. I also have the illusion that I am quite lucky with my genes
But that is on me and not on the other…
So what do you need to do in order to keep the desire…
Well actually although the ways to do that will be different for everyone, the one thing which actually stands out quite a lot, namely you have to be interested in the other one, which might be somewhat of a chore if you have been together for years and years…. I mean come on… !
Now this is where character comes in, because although it is very easy to exchange each other the minute you have become bored with one another, it takes a lot of effort to stay interested in that other person!
Perhaps by starting every so often a sentence with: Do you (still) know why I love you?
And before the other can even tell you that they did not have a clue, tell them it is because….take them in yours arms and if you dare make a dance in the kitchen.
It not only makes you desirable, but it also makes you desire the other one (even more…)
Oh and one warning: if they only want to kiss, dance etcetera with you while you are cooking, hovering, ironing or whatever, you know, at the awkward moments, perhaps you should rethink your daily routine or perhaps when you finally have the time to cuddle, the other turns you down, rethink your relationship.
Because going through the motions pretending desire, is really one of the most horrible things you can do to your other half, it is a form of gaslighting which should not be tolerated and that is the moment you talk, saying: you know what I would like…(you to do..)
good luck and have a great day!
14/11/2021