I am totally convinced that living together within a relationship is one of the most difficult things that we do within our own lives.
I mean to be honest, it is also completely unrealistic to expect to run this ride totally up to the finish, because in most cases that would be a bloody long time..
So how come that people can actually stay married for 40 years and seemingly never have a bad cloud in their lives?
Well quite frankly because it all depends what you want to do and how much you really want to succeed after you climb down of your pink cloud.
It has always been a fascinating subject with me and therefore when I see Married at First Sight, the Australian version, where people will say just anything that comes up in their thoughts, I am thoroughly impressed that some of the couples stay together longer than a month, while I am salivating at all the fights, quarrels that seem to develop from day one!
To be sure I think happy marriages are reasonable common, but I think that Eric once told me after another session divorce mediation: it seems that even if you are seen as the happiest couple on the block, it does not really mean that you actually are the happiest of couples!
He said it because the last clients presented themselves as being seen as the happiest couple on the block and now they wanted a divorce, because they were soooooo bored with each other!
Which actually means that living together in harmony is definitely not an automatic pass for a happy marriage…
So then what really is an automatic pass for a happy marriage, what is the key in this whole story, because in lots of places in the world, people are thrown together by parents or family and then deemed to make their marriage work, because there is no divorce option, not unless you dare to confront your whole family and telling them what a poor choice they made in order to make you so unhappy for feeling to want a divorce.
And quite often even in these modern times, they have not even met before the wedding…
The whole key to this relational marriage thing is adapting, moving along, communicating and quite honestly endless respecting the other person.
Because quite frankly, you are not a perfect person and nor is your mate, so the only way forward is to accept his/her flaws as it were your own!!
Trying to talk about it, helps immensely and doing that while realising that humour might actually make the/your world turn around!
Does this mean that from thereon it gets easier?
No absolutely not, Eric once divorced a couple who were in their 50th year of marriage, because they had not moved along with each other, but someone had gotten off the train, in the hope that the other would have swept them off their feet there which sadly never happened, so they were standing on different platforms , looking longingly at the train coming past twice an hour, while not getting on it or getting off.
You see being happy is a choice, same as being unhappy!
So it is up to you which choice you make!
It is a choice to move closer to you partner or to be left behind on the platform or in the train.
And it is a choice to dare and give yourself to the other without being scared of losing yourself in the proces!
But before you now think it is all due to the other that your relationship is falling apart, please do realise I am showing you the best for last: Respect and Self Reflection are one of the main ingredients in any relationship and will go a LONGGGGG way within.
The will to please can be very nice, but also very irritating and worse can make yourself lose yourself in the proces!
So there you are: the easy answers to a Happy Relationship!
I hope you have a Happy day!